A.) [Since all the chicken coop animals have been free/roaming in the barn all month due to the extreme low temperatures & bitter winds & better insulation] ...which leads to... having a peacock sitting in the rafters then poop directly onto your head whilst scooping out food from the bin for someone.
--I swear I heard him laugh.
--I bet he's been waiting years for this moment!
--Aaaaand that's why hats were invented.
B.) Reaching down to pick something up from the floor [dont recall what due to the concussion] ...which was near the Canadian goose who apparently though you were trying to "GET HIM" & then decides in that confined space moment to "take flight" which gives you 3 hammer like wing strokes to the face thus giving you a black eye.
And a black nose.
C.) Climbing 5ft up and over the gate into "Ollie the pigs" stall [his stall door has been frozen 3/4 way shut all month] to get him his morning food & water only to lose your footing & slip on the gate 5ft high but catch yourself on it mid fall only to land dangling up side down on the gate & a little sore.
Then realizing you don't have your cell phone Aaaaand this could be much worse.
Tomorrow ~ OPERATION FREE OLLIE!!!