A.) Walking through an icy river to go looking for "Pork Chops" the missing pig who either:
1.)Followed the horses across the 3ft icy creek water to the back field or -
2.) is currently floating down stream 1/2 way to the Kankakee river by now.
Now Wellington boots stop right below the knee so in a panic to find Pork I disregarded the freezing water pouring into my boots. But I was quickly across the river & dumping icy water out of my boots as I stood in the snow. I was envisioning my love, a floating icicle pig heading south down stream. How could he have crossed this river it's over his head?! However fear draws out quite the adrenaline rush I'll tell ya. So I jog on my legs that now feel like icy pins & needles to track down the herd & then what's that? Is it him ?! Yes!!! There he is ... A yellow blob blur amongst the white snow surrounded my horse legs. He made it across! That cute fat little submarine of mine made it!
But my temp was quickly dropping as the feeling of elation replaced adrenaline which was a lot less of a pain distraction...
Which leads me to..
B.) Escorting Pork Chops the icicle submarine pig home trudging through 5 acres of knee high snow drifts when your socks & jeans have already been soaked with icy river water & now turning to ice right before your very eyes.
But we make it to that river.
So the pig reluctantly stops at the river edge (can you blame him?) but as the freezing pain multiplies & escalates through my legs & I hang onto a tree because I can no longer feel my feet I yell in what sounded like a slow motion crazy devil voice at him... "Friggggggin gooooooo poooork just gooooo juuuuust gooooo" & I spank him with a stick & his little submarine self sets sail through the icy waters.
But a few feet in he starts to drift south heading strait for that 5ft deep spin so I dive into the water for him. I save him. I wrap my arms around him as icy water splashes on my face, down my shirt & into the arms of my jacket.
Holy crap I just did a polar plunge people.
And I hobble up the hill chasing his chunky icicle arse back into the barn as fast as possible. It feels like the end of a marathon where you look down at your legs to see if they are really moving. I can barely breath at this point. I lock up the pig, lock up the barn & then head off toward the house.
The freezing pain of being soaked with icy water for 30 minutes at this pint is unbearable. I think I'm going to pass out. Is this hypothermia? I can't feel my legs. I'm halfway home. I still can't feel my legs. I can't feel my hands. I can't breathe.
When I stepped on my steps..., or at least when I thought I did.. I then realized I had no control over my feet & stumbled to the ground. I crawled to the front door pulling my legs behind me. & was able to prop my legs under me to open the house door... & fall inside.
I Promptly stripped the wet clothes off down to my skivvies & half hopped into my bed to regain circulation.
The things that I do for that damn pig.